Most parents have experienced the oxymoron of family vacation.

We envision: reading that spicy thriller everyone’s been talking about, siestas in the afternoon by the pool and the joy of discovery made even sweeter because we’re seeing it through the wide-eyed wonder of our kids.

Instead: that pool becomes a death trap, the siesta happens at 10 am because our kid is on central time and we abandon discovery for routine to avoid afternoon meltdowns.

The cocktail hour we looked forward to becomes the witching hour for overstimulated toddlers.

So, my husband and I were relieved when our kids got old enough that pools weren’t death traps and sleep was easier.

But we traded for a whole new set of problems. They nagged us all day about what we were doing, became fixated on doing things we hadn’t planned far enough in advance to do and they were like two little star-stingy Trip Advisor reviewers.

This is when I decided to change the dynamic.

I turned to one of my favorite tools from work: the kanban board. I use this tool to shift teams from a group of individuals executing tasks to a cohesive team empowered to influence how work gets done. I have found it increases engagement and creative problem solving when people feel their leaders have enough confidence in them to give them autonomy and influence in how work gets done.

Looking at it from my kids’ perspective, who wants to have your time completely controlled by someone else? There’s a subtle message there about trust.

Packing for this vacation, I tucked a stickynote pad and a guide book into my suitcase with my bathing suit and sunscreen. I had dog eared pages of activities I thought our family would enjoy.

As part of settling into our accommodations, I pulled out the sticky pad and created a kanban board filled with vacation activities. I was clear about the guardrails:

• • Some days we had scheduled activities, like snorkeling – I had to make reservations in advance of our arrival to beat the crowds

• • We could watch one movie a day – their choice when they wanted to do that

• • We could eat out once a day – their choice which meal

• • Days were chunked into morning, afternoon and evening

I left them sticky notes and a pen so they could add their own activities.

It started out looking something like this:

• • Across the top I put the days

• • I divided the days into morning, afternoon and evening

• • I parked all of the possible activities on the right

• • On each sticky note I put the activity and how long it would take

After they were done, it ended up looking something like this.

It went even better than I had hoped. They engaged in an enthusiastic discussion filled with creativity and compromise. As they placed the sticky notes on various days they imagined what they would have the energy for, what would be fun for them, what was a must do and what was something they could leave behind. They evaluated these choices against their own interests and engaged in negotiation.

They even used the board in ways I had not envisioned. They kept some activities parked on the right so if they found themselves looking for something to do, they could look there for ideas, meaning they didn’t come to me and say “Mom, I am bored what can we do?”

And they took ownership in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Movies turned into family movie night and making bracelets turned into family craft hour.

The board also served as a tool to help ease transitions. At the end of each day we would look at the next day and see if we wanted to make any changes. At the beginning of each day we’d look so we all knew what was going to happen that day giving them time to mentally prepare for the day.

In creating their own experience they engaged with greater enthusiasm and were more resilient when confronted with obstacles. As parents we got out of the camp counselor role and had more time to relax and be present.

Kanban at work is a bit more complex, but the value and impact are similar. Kanban is rooted in mutual respect. It gives you a common understanding of the work you are doing. This includes the rules by which you do the work (guardrails) , how much you accomplish in a given time, and how good your work results are at the end. With this common understanding, your work is more predictable and your pace of work becomes more sustainable. Communication and cooperation improve and quality increases. Employees are able to act more independently as they develop a natural understanding of risk management. And this means leaders have more time to engage in strategic thinking.

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