Kids never warn you that it’s time to adapt your parenting style to their developmental stage. It usually happens with tantrums (toddlers) or eye rolls (teenagers) or some other behavior that totally blindsides you like this:

Me: Are you headed out?

My teenager daughter: (Sigh)

Me: Where are you going? Who will you be with? When will you be home?

My daughter: Can’t you just check my dot?

Me: Oh, right. (And then I go through the mental, emotional and behavioral adjustment I need to adapt to her need for independence, growing self-sufficiency and competence in making good decisions).

I was reminded of these parenting moments in response to a question I was asked at a keynote panel at the Healthy Worksite Summit last week. It was a remarkable convening of hundreds of government leaders from throughout Washington – everyone from state patrol to school districts to state and local government – everyone focused on employee well-being. 

Earlier in the day, I conducted a breakout session on toxicity and workplace mental health and was joining three other breakout speakers on a keynote panel about DEI and well-being.

The question was about the shifting role of managers in creating inclusive, engaged workplaces.

I talked about more and more leaders coming to me for coaching in resilience and emotional intelligence. Many are feeling burned out. They know they need to have a deeper well to draw from to meet the complex demands of their jobs. Still others have felt the emotional demands of their jobs increase as empathy, inclusivity and flexibility become central to their role.

These managers are adapting to the shifting needs of the workplace. We are in the midst of massive change driven by disruptive forces: complexity, ambiguity, uncertainty, attention management, changing organizations and changing nature of work. Leaders are finding that coaching is even more effective than training in helping them adapt because it’s individualized and tailored to their situation which accelerates skill development.

(Most) adults are less obvious than kids about their shifting needs, but the signs are there: quiet quitting, disengagement and turnover. Leaders need to adapt to the change as it’s happening in order to be most effective.

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